My Police Story | Black Lives Matter


Back story| I had a long day traveling to my internship interview and along the way I had ran into unfamiliar situation. Something told me to share this with facebook which I'm not accustom to sharing my private feelings. I do frequently talk about things affecting the black community and things I feel are social injustice for people around the world. I do not hold my tongue and I don't expect everyone to agree with me. I do ask people to be respectful as I do not intend to lose friends over a good debate or discussion yet a few times in my past this has happened. I've gotten more careful about how I state things or allow people to comment on my wall. We are emotional creatures and as a Humanities major I have come to understand the dynamics of communication within the physical and virtual world. This is my story...

POLICE STORY: (Posted on Facebook) 

I thought I'd share this with you all today. I went to XXXXX (white suburban neighborhood) in Long Beach today. I got off the bus and proceeded to find my internship office. I had never been in XXXXX so I took my I was walking I ran into a cop parked on the side of the street. Now, I'm in a two piece business suit and I didn't appear to be doing anything suspicious but I felt uneasy. There was no one around and I was lost. I decided to stop on the side walk next to where the police lady was sitting in her car. I waved at her and she rolled down her window. I asked her if she knew if I was headed in the right direction? she asked me for the addressed, I thanked her, and proceeded in the right direction. Overall, my experience wasn't bad but with everything that has been going on I felt I am, an educated black woman walking in a prominent white neighborhood looking out of place, and I was scared. So before I went into my interview I was stomach started to hurt. This is my story. Society has made me feel uncomfortable for being black. During my interview, the panel kept telling me, " you are so accomplished, why do you want to intern with us? " and all I could think was, "Well, my parents taught me that you are only as good as your next goal." So there I was...telling them who I was. I went from being scared to being praised for my accomplishments. God is good. I hope to finish this story later but for's been a long day.

A friend commented:

I really never get involved with people's posts, but I just find it interesting with what you wrote. Your posts come on my newsfeed quite often and some I read some not. But tonight I just read this. It really actually bothered me that you would say society has made you feel uncomfortable. I don't agree with that at all. You are in control of your feelings alone. People can hurt your feelings, or you may have good or bad experiences but at the end of the day it's how you want to look back on your life . As much as you feel like your being judged for being black, don't you think you were judging just as much by the neighborhood being white, or the cop being white?

Not looking for a fight here but these type of remarks really keep racism alive. Just be you. That's it

My response:

This is not a remark but an experience it which I felt vulnerable enough to share. There was nothing bad stated here. It was a positive experience which I allowed FB into my head and emotions. People can read into situations how ever they choose to do so. I live with the reality of being black in America today. I didn't carry that awareness until I was out of my comfort zone. This is not something I feel everyday as I have many friends and family from around the world. The point is I'm writing it to say I'm not exempt. Racism is kept alive by people who act in it...I didn't not act or participate in it and fortunately neither did this police woman. I had a feeling of "what if?" I'm not judging the neighborhood for being white but I knew the demographics of the area and the fact that Long Beach is eager to change its demographics to favor people of the same economic class therefore pushing out people of color who are socially and economically limited. I'm sorry you felt bothered by this post, I'm wondering why, my reality of something I experience would make you feel bothered? I never said the police woman was white. Yes, I'm in control of how I feel, where I go, what I eat, BUT I am not in control if a cop pulls me off the side of a street and ask me where I am going and for what reason I would be walking through a neighborhood such as the one I was in. I'm not in control of how people treat or perceive me...they are. Point is, I didn't know how to react if it did happen...I was uncomfortable. I have right to say that. I had to say "white neighborhood" because describing this to my audience. Instead of projecting your feelings into my lived situation...I wish you would considered 'who I am as a friend of yours' and know that I sharing my feelings in a situation. Instead, your comment makes me many other blacks, wrong for stating how we have felt. No one has the right to make me feel bad for how I felt but I feel I beautifully recovered myself after.

No matter how many degrees I have on my wall I will never have that kind of power...I don't want it. I never want to restrict anyone based on their creeds. I'm a scholar, who studies Humanities, and I can't sit here and lie to myself and say I never felt that way. I study people, I will one day be paid by the US government to analyze the interaction of people...and trust me, they not going to pay me to have a filter because someone is bothered. I can be sensitive to it in my private life, I adore (my friend who commented), but in my professional life I'm clearly aware and constantly trying to bring social justice for all people regardless. No one is right or wrong...we now sharing our feelings from outside of a situation in which only I experienced today. I want to thank everyone for commenting. I don't want everyone to agree with me but I do want respect for all who comment.

Voltaire stated, " I do not agree with what you have to say, but I'll defend to the death your right to say it."

My friends response:

I adore you too xxxx. I wasn't trying to start a war on here. Your feelings are valid. And much as anyone else's. Just saddens me to read you felt that way. I like you as a friend and at the end of the day, I just don't want you to feel that way Bc I care. That's all.

I want black people to be free to express themselves in the world we live in today. I want them to know that their feelings are valid. I'm posting this to showcase how I felt in and out of the situation. I usually don't get his vulnerable and I never thought I would have too. I'm very sarcastic on facebook and I like stirring things up. It's rare I ever let people into my true thoughts in fear that they will somehow make me feel weird. For more stories watch the video below.

Before you go:
Have you every been hassled by the police? Have you ever been afraid of walking in a neighborhood you knew you did not belong too? How has society made you feel about race relations lately? Is it justified?

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This blog is NOT geared toward sexual orientation or gender classification. This blog is based solely on the blog authors experience and research. This blog is geared toward promoting a mixture of masculine and feminine attire and with an integrated genderless lifestyle.

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