Co-Parenting as a Single Girl

3/14/2016


I have truly been blessed with the experience I have currently been involved in. I usually complain about everything just because it makes me feel better by talking about it. After finding myself homeless {Story Here} my sister and her fiance took me into to their home. I joined a family of five and that includes my two nieces and my one year old nephew. Everyone knows me, will tell you that I'm a young woman who is really career focused and very into my education. For the past 10 years I have just been in school and trying to finish up two degrees. My short term goals have always included being educated and having work experience. Although, I'm starting to slow down on my education, while finishing up my masters, I have started looking into other long-term goals.


Although, my sister's daughters are older they don't require me to watch them that often but my nephew is a cuddle bug and he loves to be right up under me or his sisters. Even though I don't shadow my nieces every move I do try to help them become better suited for womanhood. I believe that parenting a child is the responsibility of the village. My sister and her fiance work a lot and that leaves me to parenting the kids from time to time. I truly believe God allowed me live with my sister to show me that children are blessing and that, even though I had been questioning it, that I would make a wonderful parent when the time comes. Before this I have never had to change a diaper, punish a child when they were being disrespectful, have talks about Justin Bieber or what they want in their lives. I never had someone watch my every move or listen to everything I say. It's scary sometimes I'm realize I have to stop cussing or that I can't watch certain movies. My life is changing.

I have really enjoyed being around my nieces. I love hearing them talk about their aspirations and seeing them watch me do things around the house like cook and clean. I'm trying my best to build positive relationships with them because one is going to be a teenager and I know how hard that transition can be. My goal is go to family outings, show up to basketball games, pick them up from school sometimes, take them to the mall or get their nails done. I really want to be an involved aunt more than just a co-parent. My favorite thing is making them laugh when I explain that I made a mistake and allowing them to see that I'm not perfect. I hope that they trust me more and consider me to be someone they would like to spend time with.

My nephew will be turning one this month. Just the other day I got to see him take his first steps and I look forward to seeing him walk. I watch him learn new things every other day and he's always ready to greet me with a smile. Recently, I've been going through so many horrible experiences but he just comes right up to me and laughs. He makes me appreciate what little time we have here on Earth. Don't get me wrong I still haven't gotten use to his sleep schedule which makes it hard for me sleep and I can't get down with the puke all over my clothes and bedding. But, I have become content with making him bottles, changing his diaper, and watching Sesame Street. My hope is that he will one day say, "Hi Auntie" and that he'll I'll be able to take him on playdates with other kids his age because that really will help him become social. I keep saying he's going to be a scholar but he loves to sing so who knows lol.

I'm learning so much about myself. I never thought I could have a baby on one hip and be cooking or cleaning at the same time. I never thought I'd be yelling at one child and worried if the other one is hanging from the ceiling. Being a co-parent is HARD. I'm a neat a freak, with a one year old, you can't really do that without structure. Given that the space is limited I can't just put him in a section and leave him to play with toys. I have definately learned that organization is everything when it comes to raising children. Also, being flexible is very important because things can go wrong very quickly. So for me, I just have schedule when the kids come home from school, what chores need to be done, checking to see if they need help with homework, allowing them to play, cooking dinner if needed, and then sending them off to bed if their parents aren't home before 9pm. My job really is to help my sister keep things in order and give her more time to rest, do errands, go out with her fiance, or do game nights with the family.

My sister taught me that quick meals can actually be tasty. That kids will get on your last nerves if you allow them. An old t-shirt over a nice blouse can save the day. Nothing is more important than family and keeping a positive attitude. She has always been there for me when I wasn't doing well. Even though, we don't talk as much as I'd like she stills tries to get things done for me, or just telling me get up and get out. I like being around her and just having fun with the kids.

My sister's fiance has helped me start two new small business ventures. He has even helped me write a few points on this blog, including "Making Request and Not Demands" and "Letting Your Man Have Dreams." He encourages me everyday by telling that I've accomplished a lot and don't let a little set back in life keep me from going. He also speaks honestly about being a man and his struggles. I think all women need to hear that black men have struggles and how they try to over come them. I really love the way he treats my sister because I really want to see her happy because she's the sweetest person I know.

Having my sister and her fiance backing me up on my parenting skills really helps a lot. I let them discipline the kids but I having them around to enforce certain request makes it easier.

I don't think I'm ready for kids and a family tomorrow but this is definitely a good training experience. I'm starting to really focus on what I want out of life but also allow God to have his way with me. I value the relationships and the communication skills that I'm building during this time. I'm really loving being apart of my family and getting know my nieces and nephews as they grow.

Hey, I even drove on the free-way! lol, My sister's fiance is dead set on making sure I get my driving skills on point before I leave.

Wishing myself nothing but luck.

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This blog is NOT geared toward sexual orientation or gender classification. This blog is based solely on the blog authors experience and research. This blog is geared toward promoting a mixture of masculine and feminine attire and with an integrated genderless lifestyle.

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