Once Upon a Time I was a Hoe | Tara vs Amina


Don't be like Amina and Tara |

Love triangles are emotional violence against the self.

My aunt use to tell me, if you find yourself soo deeply in love with a man...build a tunnel even if it leads to no where as long as it doesn't lead you back to him.

You have to have an exit strategy for any relationship. You have to have an end game. This is what saves you the time spent mourning a failed situation.

You have to understand that everyone you meet or sleep with is NOT relationship/boyfriend or husband material. This is where you being to compartmentalize what men will enter and therefore, leave your life.

Emotional disturbance to you, from a man dealing with multiple women, is a sign that this person needs to be approached with caution and maybe even thrown to the wind.

The difference between men and women is how they get what they want from the opposite sex.

For example, if a man only wants sex he will do anything to get it without ever fully giving his emotional self.

Women will give all their emotions to one guy. They will dump all their emotional baggage into one situation and end up heart broken, still having never gotten what they wanted.

So, if you want an exclusive relationship then, you have to be upfront about your standards and know what your end game is even if he doesn't meet your needs.

Competing with another woman for a man who's actions says he doesn't love you is a NO. You have to sit back and see how silly you look fighting for a man who would introduce another woman into the home/foundation you've built with him. You have to deploy "the enders game."

It's like "follow the leader"...if he choices himself over you...then, you do the same thing. Mimic him in the most logical way. Because if women treated men the way they sometimes treat us the outcomes would be different. You have let them down nicely, in sweetest way by letting him know that you know the game ( player player), you've played it, and now you're the head coach. No first string.

So, YES, being exclusive for a man who doesn't respect you makes you look like a hoe. How, you might say...Well, you become a wiling participant in the destruction of your own virtue and power as a woman. Learn the power of just saying, NO. Or NO thank you...if you want to be nice.

Step out of the triangle and into the circle of your life. Don't look back because there's nothing there.

You can't change a Peter into a house wife. LOL. Dirty feet Pete is not going to change unless he has too. You can't fix a man, that's his rite of passage for himself, he will never do that for you. Remember, he's in his ego and he can't see past himself. If you participate, then you are not a victim, you are instead your own worst enemy. Don't let any man take the power you have as a woman to influence and to love and be loved.

My Story:

I found myself unwilling thrown into a love triangle and I thought that I could really get rid of this side chick by telling him to stop. It never happened. I participated in the foolishness, even without the sex, it took an emotional strain on me. It put me against another woman and I didn't like that at all. I started to look bitter an desperate for a man who was suppose to be my king.

The side chick started to compete with me over him, she stalked my social media, she imitated my attire, and cried wolf when things went wrong. While my boyfriend sat back and watched me grew even more upset. (Proving that he could care less about my emotional needs.)

There were times when it was obvious that he was cheating with her and I did nothing. I watched and waited. I emotionally pulled myself out the relationship more and more until...

Eventually, I left him and I vowed that I would never go back.

I left him and he didn't even know the relationship had ended. I still get the occasional side eye from the side chick that he's never turned into a relationship. But, the best thing is he no longer has emotional control over me and I'm ok with seeing him an her on occasion. I'm even ok with the shade and rumors I get from time to time because my womanhood speaks for itself. I will not let a man emotionally drag me to hell while he sits in ego paradise discussing his conquest. I will only date men who a proven record of morality and manhood.

Know what your end game is before you start dating any man.

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This blog is NOT geared toward sexual orientation or gender classification. This blog is based solely on the blog authors experience and research. This blog is geared toward promoting a mixture of masculine and feminine attire and with an integrated genderless lifestyle.

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