Break Ups| One Monkey Don't Stop No Show


The worst part about finding out you were not meant to be with someone is that they didn't care enough to try. It drove me crazy just thinking about the effort and time that wasn't spent. I had to sit back and equate and realize that I wasn't getting what I deserved and I didn't feel inspired to want more. I also felt I was not the women he needed and for me, life must go on. Every break up should be a wake up. Break ups are hard because we form bonds with the person and it takes time to separate emotionally.

Time and time again... I've went through the stages of grief. Lessons are for learning and sometime we must learn those lessons the hard way. Every time I go through a break up I evaluate my standards for what makes me happy. Assessing key aspect of what happened really helps me understand what we did wrong and how I can do better in the future. I try my best not to make the guy appear to be a "jerk" or "ass hole" but sometimes it is what it is. The older I get I realize not to take things so personal and that time mends all wounds. My focus now is to remain focused on those who really care about me and want the best for me in life. When you start to focus on the positive elements and find a hobby to keep you busy the pain starts to dwindle.

Some people may ask: how much time do you give yourself to move on from an ex? I would say you have the same amount of time you were together or dating. This way if you set a time frame you wont get locked into your emotions and neglect other aspects of your life. I do realize that the other areas of my life suffer when I'm emotionally battling through a break up. I just don't feel as happy about doing things and this is why I try to take walks, work out, volunteer, or go to local events. Anything, that will get my mind off the tragic event that just occurred.

I do realize that the other areas of my life suffer when I'm emotionally battling through a break up. 

People assume that the person who does the "breaking up" never feels any type of sadness or hurt which is not true. If you are a person who really cares for another person then, you will feel everything and sometimes nothing, all at once. Your friends will get tired of hearing you talk about it or will always reference back their situations. I suggest friends for getting out and having fun but not for dumping your issues on. If you really need to talk to someone write it in a journal and rip it up when you're done. I choose to pray and talk to God about things. I'm really trying not to tell people, even close friends, all the details surrounding my life because people are so public these days about PRIVATE matters. The way I feel after a break up or what I think about the other person in the heat of the aftermath should not be discussed amongst all my friends, on Facebook, or any other social media site.

The best thing to do after a break up is love yourself. Take all that love an energy you were sharing with the other person and give back to you. Pamper yourself for those 5 months or how ever long it takes you to get over it. When you see that person in public and they ignore you, take it as another "red flag" as to why it didn't work out and why you're better off without them. I learned it's ok to miss the other's actually normal to do so.

The best thing to do after a break up is love yourself. 

Don't be afraid to show the world that you've got a great life without your ex. We all make mistakes so don't forget to analyze your mistakes and come up with a plan to do better the next time you're ready to open up again. Don't give up on love. Never stop doing all the things that make you great. Remember that you are worth what you think you deserve. Add quality to your life by doing things you really want to do but never had the time for. Either way find a good life coach like: ET The Hip Hop Preacher, Shameless Maya, Rob Hill Sr., Preston Smiles,Derrick Jaxn, Tony Gaskin Jr, Prince Ea, TD Jakes, or Joel Osteen to name a few. I really love these people because they share their low moments and also celebrate their highs while giving good life tips to a better you.

Give yourself the closure you deserve and move on.

Life is full of those hard moments and we all need to know how to navigate them. If you can change your mindset you can change your entire life. A break up is just a make up to a better and improved you. Like my aunt always says, "one monkey don't stop no show."

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This blog is NOT geared toward sexual orientation or gender classification. This blog is based solely on the blog authors experience and research. This blog is geared toward promoting a mixture of masculine and feminine attire and with an intergraded genderless lifestyle.

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