#HurtBae Reaction | Single Black Women

2/19/2017


Kourtney, I'm sorry for what happened. I feel your pain. Thank you for sharing your story and giving other women the chance to learn from your choices. You are beautiful woman, I can tell both inside and out, I want you to know you are not alone. We hear you and we feel you.


The Scene created a video featuring Kourtney and her ex Leonard discussing the demise of their relationship: Watch the video below.



This has to be a woman's worst nightmare or a man even who's in love with a woman he's committed too. Should people have this conversation, some ask? I think they should but most people don't. This video is about getting closure and moving on. For many of us it opened up deep wounds we have felt in the past. At the end I want to share my experience but for now let's look at his video and take part some of the issues so many of us SBW, single black women, miss while being in a relationship.

The worst part of the whole video was when she asked Leonard, "how many times and how many people?" Guys are going around saying, "What the issue?" or "I don't get it? why would she care?" UMMMM...dumb ass because she was in a committed relationship with him but he wasn't in one with her. Because he was careless and didn't think to count. Because AID/HIV and any other STD is real and some are for life. He put her well being at risk just to have sex with different women while being in a relationship with her.

To think that she was giving her all to a man who played pretend and wished she would have just left when she started looking through his phone. He persued her in college, she didn't like him at first, so he made her like him. He took all the trust she had in yourself and crushed like she never meant anything all. Yes, she should have listened to her gut but we all have fallen short in that area because we love someone. Love is blind in thinking that the person we care about would never do anything to intentionally hurt us but they do.

He lied to her and told her she was being crazy when she realized he had pictures of other women in his phone and on his computer. STRIKE #1 He convienced her that her gut feeling was the lair and not him.

The next part is the worst and we as women have all been there, She went into his room and he had another women in there but told her to leave. STRIKE #2!

Kourtney talked about how she would go through his phone and Leonard stated that's when things changed. That was STRIKE #3 that she should have ended.

The one that that got me the most, the thing that told me this dude is narcissist asshole, who only cares about him was his questions. Leonard asked Kourtney, "If you would go through that measure to find whatever then, why wouldn't you just leave?" STRIKE #4!

Men, if you have issues with commitment is not her responsibility to leave you. It's your responsibility as man to get out of the relationship knowing that's what she wants and your inability give that to her.

Even during the recording Leonard couldn't be accountable for his own actions. This only proved to Kourtney even further that he was extremely immature.

He was quick to say, "This is the end." He doesn't want to relive or help her heal. He wants to hurry up and run away from what he did to her.

Kourtney stated that she forgave him. I wrote a whole article about forgiveness and moving forward titled, 'Forgiving and Forgetting.' If you or anyone you know needs help figuring out the rode to forgiveness, of yourself and others, then please forward them this article.

Lastly, he stated, "I hope in the future we can remain good friends." My response to this would be the same response I give all my exes, I would never want to be friends with someone who treated me the way you did. I can be cordigal but we can't be friends. I wrote an article on this called, 'The Ex Factor.'  Never allow a person to treat you less than you deserve but never believe that less is all you will ever be worthy of.

MY STORY |


I was in love with a man who was just like Leonard. We all have one in our past somewhere. I knew after a while this man was talking to other women and I would bring it up to him. I was not mean about it or rude but he always told me I was over reacting. My gut was always telling me something different. I did everything I could to please him but it was just never enough.

I even had a women tell me she saw him on a dating site. I confronted him and he stated that he likes to look but we all know that looking leads to other things. After a while I couldn't take it anymore and I broke off the relationship. See, he wasn't only being inconsistent in one area but all areas of the relationship. My needs were no longer being met and I felt my self go out the window so I went with it.

Recently, he reached out and we discussed the issues that arose in our past relationship. He had the nerve to say, "For the record, I never cheated on you." I fired back at him, "You were talking to other women on line." He said, "Yeah but that's not cheating, I never had sex with any of them." I responded, "You barely had sex with me. You cheated because the time you spend chatting with them and sexting them...was taken from our relationship. You cheated me out of the person I was suppose to be in love with and in a relationship with. You gave that to someone else."

I don't even know how my ex didn't think he was cheating when he never admitted to talking to other women when we were together. He knew what he was doing was wrong and yet he continued to do it without a care for me. As for the relationship, he stated that he never thought it was that serious...We were engaged by the way...he never thought it as that serious. He corrected it by saying, "I wasn't sure we were going to last." I thought to myself, "You weren't confident in your manhood and your leadership skills were lacking so you aborted the relationship or kept back ups just in case we didn't work out due to the lack there of."

Even after all the conversations and back and forth we still tried to make something spark but in the end I wasn't having it. There were simple rules of engagement when it came to me and he just never measured up. I have since closed that door, the windows, and cleared out the attic. We're done and I never want to enter another emotionally abusive relationship again in my life.


Dear Single Black Girl,

Remember, the pain only last as long as you allow it.



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This blog is NOT geared toward sexual orientation or gender classification. This blog is based solely on the blog authors experience and research. This blog is geared toward promoting a mixture of masculine and feminine attire and with an integrated genderless lifestyle.

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