Alpha Male | Omega Female


One day, while watching black men and women feud in a community group on Facebook, things clicked in my head about my own interaction with black men and how that affected my spirituality. Being a woman of God I wondered why these women were having such a hard time with the word "submission"? I was wondering why, we as black women, were deemed as unfeminine for speaking our minds against the Alpha Males.

(The picture isn't wrong - I'm sending a message) read into it.

As I was watching black women and men feud in a facebook group I started to reflect on my own purpose for joining. I was trying to understand men's view on topics that concern spiritual, emotional, and physical growth. Being a humanistic scholar I got way more than I bargained for.

The topic at hand was feminist vs. the alpha males of the community group. I was really taken back by how the women attacked and belittled the men. Now, this was not done without cause. One of the men in the group -who loves to rattle up the other sex, was calling women thots and hoes. Even though he stated he was talking about a very select group of promiscuous women, a lot of women took it personally. I understood both sides of the fence.

I have stated many times in this blog that Black Woman are not allowed to have a healthy and productive sex life outside of a "relationship." If she does then, she's deemed a hoe. That's a hard label to get off your back when talking to an Alpha male.

I think a lot of women in the group have either been around Alpha males who utilized their skills to hurt more than help, never been in contact with an Alpha ever or, they have been extremely taken advantage of or disregarded. Not only by men but also women. For example, I stated," intent is not implied and doesn't always translate when communicating. Most women are used to being told, this is grown folks business...go sit down and shut up." So when a woman becomes an adult she seeks to find spaces where she can be vulnerable and express her wants, needs, and desires. This group appears to have become a Mecca for black women's opinions and not Men's views. We know men and women don't always agree but we have to learn how and where to connect and where to build.

If you don't already know, I'm a Humanistic Studies major...basically I study how people interact but most important how they build communities. This is my strong interest but professionally I have been an aide in communication relations and development.

So, of course, I see a problem and I analyze it then attempt to see if the group can fix it. The problem: calling women hoes and thots even if they are. Women feeling that any attack on another woman's sexual freedom is an attack on hers. I totally understand women wanting the sexual freedom to explore their own bodies, grow in confidence, and become better partners. I feel any man who has slept with a woman and did not intend to marry her should not expect a woman to be a virgin or sexually limited to a small number when he meets her. You can not ask for something you are not. If you could not uphold the 'ideal' then don't idealize it. Black men policing grown women's bodies will always be an issue. The policing of black bodies is an entire cultural issue in America. It would be beneficial if black men focused on policing their own bodies and modeled that for other men. Questioning black women's competence leads to patriarchy. Fixing issues starts with educating the self before educating others. We, as black people, can only lead with love, and hope they follow.

ISSUE: Black women view Alpha Males as Patriarchy which, is a privilege of inherited power over another because of your gender classification.

Having power over another person should not make you feel like a man. Having power over yourself should make you feel like a man. < That's sexy to me. A man checking his privilege.

The men of the group moved on to talk about what a woman of quality would be like. The number one thing an Alpha male wants is a woman who is submissive and feminine. They stated that too many women want to be the alpha and be masculine within the black community and sexual freedom appeared to be a masculine trait they didn't want to share with a woman because it wasn't a desirable quality. I totally agreed with them on this because a promiscuous woman is not desirable in any community. She is not respected and the key to obtaining success in any relationship is respect.

Having power over another person should not make you feel like a man. If that's the only thing that makes you feel like a man then you will have a hard time dating a black woman. We have been sharing power for over 100 years.

So, here I was thinking thoughts. I started thinking of Alpha males in my life and how I interacted with them. I wondered why these women were having such a difficult time with "submission." I mean you would have thought the men in the group said "enslavement." I asked myself, why is it so easy for you to be ok with the idea of being submissive? 

I realized it wasn't just my uncle or my brothers...God was the Alpha of my life. He was the first man I had submitted too. Even before my uncle required that I trust him...I had the chance to meet with God first. I was baptized when I was six because I chose to submit my life to God. I said to myself, "if these are God fearing women then why are they having a hard time submitting to an Alpha male? Shouldn't they be comfortable doing that already? If God is the center of their life and he's a jealous God then this walk should be a breeze." 

I can tell you sooo many ways I have submitted to God's will. I have had to listen, understand, and build up that relationship. Yes, there are times when I question God, times when he's angry with me, and I with him. There are times we've gone our separate ways and gotten back like I never left. I ask the black women and men to build those relationships with God first. Thing is God doesn't require to me to be feminine but men do.

Ladies it will be difficult to be with an Alpha man if you can't submit or be feminine at some point.

"Let me empower you"
I have a privilege of being a "woman" and on top of that a "black woman." I have come to find what power I possess as a black woman and that's how I've been able to be submissive.

Yes, your man might be the Alpha but you have to remember who you are, a helpmate, the Omega! I'm not saying the "end all, be all" < no that's God's position so play your part. You are the end of the Alpha, he comes to you for the final do-wells and seeks your opinion if not approval because of what? he respects you! Now, not all Alpha males respect their women. You can't make someone respect you but, it starts with self. Black should learn how do we get our men to respect us? For me it's setting boundaries, having standards, making requests and not demands. For you it might be something different but if what you're doing is not getting you the man you want then either evaluate the man you want or evaluate your standards.

Ladies, never get into a relationship where you can't be vulnerable. Get with a man that makes you want to be feminine and submissive at a level you're comfortable with. Power should be shared and checked often.

So, if you want to be with an Alpha male then I empower you to be an Omega female. Weld your strength as a woman, let him utilize his strengths, and be the best helpmates you can be without giving up your character.

I think I should discuss being feminine more in another post. This has gotten too long, until next time.

I hope you find the balance you've been looking for, best wishes.

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This blog is NOT geared toward sexual orientation or gender classification. This blog is based solely on the blog authors experience and research. This blog is geared toward promoting a mixture of masculine and feminine attire and with an integrated genderless lifestyle.

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