The End | My last days as a COVID19 Essential Worker


This has been such a long and unexpected journey. I never imagined I would be here. I'm writing this, to sum up, my experience with what I learned and how this changed me forever.

I've been through a lot in the last two years and I can say nothing felt the way this did. COVID19 challenged me to the core of my being. It pushed me beyond anything I could have ever imagined. No one could have convinced me to take a job in health care during a pandemic. NO ONE. But there's beauty in prayer and getting what you asked for plus some.

Let me explain what I mean by these very words. I had been fired from another job, the third time that year, when 2020 came I sent a prayer to God that I would find a job in an amazing work environment, with a great boss, and that I would learn something new. Boy did God have plans for me. Now looking back I should have prayed for a husband, oh that's right I did, and I haven't got my tracking number for him yet. Anywho, anything else I ask for God seems to deliver in the funniest ways.

If you want the full story check out my previous post: Working During Covid19

My last days were hard but happy. I'm glad to finally get a break working 60 hrs. I'm glad to finally let what I've learned set in. Life is not guaranteed. Stop thinking you have more time when you don't. Love the people that love you. APOLOGIZE as soon as you can. FORGIVE without seeking vengeance. IT'S OK NOT TO BE OK. Covid is real. WEAR A MASK, WASH YOUR HANDS.

Although God answered my prayer...that didn't mean I didn't have challenges. I did and I got through them with help. 1) I got a job (two actually), I wasn't fired 2) I had a wonderful boss and colleagues 3) I learned so much about myself (empath) 4) Bonus: I have my own place.

It's time for me to send out more prayers and maybe this time I should be very specific about what I want in a career, in my love life, and beyond. Maybe if I write it down here my tribe, you readers, can also send a prayer up for me.

Dear God,
It's me again...your not-so-dedicated servant that you keep blessing, yeah it's me Sonja. I hope you are well...I know the world has given you a run for your money. I still don't understand why Trump is President and so many dumb people are allowed to survive. Anywho, I want to pray for the COVID19 patients, their doctors, nurses, medical professionals, and families. You've taken so many people to be home with you...we miss them. Surviving this is hard...but I must have a purpose or else I'd be sitting right next to you. Hug our loved ones in Heaven won't you?

Although we've had many passing conversations during this time I want to ask for something specific. I want a career that I'm passionate about that allows me the life I desire. Not just to be rich but wealthy enough to help others. I want to be able to take care of the generations that come after me. I want to be able to work when I please where ever I want. I want multiple streams of revenue. Mostly, I want to help people. I want to change people's lives by sharing mine. I want to become a philanthropist, advocate, humanitarian, revolutionary, and thought leader. I want to stay a Person of Color in Tech who's fashionable. I want to become a better leader but mostly a better person in your eyes. If I have to be lead by a boss, let them be kind, patient, forgiving, hardworking, family orientated, and all things you'd have them be for me to grow. I want to be my own boss God that's the goal. I would like to own my own company helping others.

Now as for my personal life:

COVID19 gave people wild ideas about hitting up their exes and I happened to be one of them. Let me add some context. I have not had many relationships, I can count them on my hand, and that's enough. When I'm with a man I give him warning after warning and I try to understand to be patient.
I have given them chances to mature with no grudges over the past 15 years and I'm tired of them. One chance should be enough for a man to do right by me. If you leave, stay gone, don't keep coming back. I've set boundaries and standards for a reason. I know a man out there will meet these basic standards. 1) be intentional 2) be consistent 3) be considerate 4) be patient 5). be kind 6) communicate effectively 7) be an alpha not a beta 8) God first 9) protect, profess, provide 10) go to therapy.

I have had too many of my exes think it's cute to come into my life seeking attention and not reconciliation. I refuse to entertain them. I am not saying I'm perfect and haven't dished out my fair share of hurt. I am saying is I have sought forgiveness, learned the lessons, tried my best to get therapy, and do better. Once removed, let my exes stay removed. I deserve better. Give me the strength to move onward and accept a man that you've conditioned for me and vice versa.

I don't want to leave anything to chance here and I don't feel I need to justify this request because you know the desires of my heart. My future husband needs to know I am the one sent to him from you. I don't want to have to chase him but meet him halfway. I want to be a mutual undeniable love sent from you. I would like for him to be emotionally available, mature, and ready for marriage. If he's a handsome black man with a degree and no kids or no prior police record that would be great! He can have decent credit and his own place. He has to be successful in his career. I would like to start my own family with this man and I would hope his family would love and cherish me like he does. I hope our friendship is strong and we can discuss anything including you. My love language is communication and quality time please let him appease those things and reveal his love language to me. He needs to be a strong communicator and problem solver. It's not just about him, please prepare me to be a loving wife, a virtuous woman, that the right man would be glad to call his wife. I want to be equally yoked with you Lord. Dear Lord, I want my wedding to be on 2.22.22 but he can marry me before that day. I want our honeymoon to be in Morrocco or Ethiopia. I want to be loved for who I am and who I will become. I want to love a man the same. I want to be married in peace without toxicity. I want a partnership. I don't want a narcissist. Thank you in advance for my husband but most importantly giving me the heart to receive the love you have for me.

Also, keep my family safe from COVID. Cover all the people I love.

Bless up.

My Mask can be purchased on Etsy by 8amStyle
Blouse: One piece from BooHoo
Satin Skirt: Forever 21
Bracelet: Tory Burch


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This blog is NOT geared toward sexual orientation or gender classification. This blog is based solely on the blog authors experience and research. This blog is geared toward promoting a mixture of masculine and feminine attire and with an integrated genderless lifestyle.

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